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Phillip Cunio's Commentary: Arnold for President
5-27-2003 This commentary is a quick rundown of some of my reasons for thinking that the esteemed actor Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger should be our next President. The foreign relations value. Just think what the French will say: "Mon Dieu! The Terminator is the American President now! And he is a speaker of German! We are le screwen!" They, and other countries which we do not like, will have even more reason to fear us. Putting the Minnesotans in their place. You remember, of course, that Minnesota's unofficial state motto is: "Our governor can kick your governor's [butt]." Just imagine Jesse Ventura trying to take on Mr. Schwarzenegger. Watch the movie "Predator" and see who lasts longer against the tough alien hunter. Minnesotans will know terror. The connections Mr. Schwarzenegger has. His wife is Maria Shriver, who is kin to the Kennedy clan. Doubtless Mr. Schwarzenegger will be able to take advantage of his wife's family's connections when running the country. Yes, we all know that there is no system whereby high government officials, business leaders, and perhaps even mafia dons work together for the good of each other, with the side effect a smooth, efficient economy, but if there were, Mr. Scwarzenegger would be in a great position to take perfect advantage of it. The furtherance of the Republican resurgence. Yes, I know some of you will not think this a benefit, but the Democrats haven't exactly been gaining ground by leaps and bounds lately. Assuredly, this will change. However, Mr. Schwarzenegger may well be the first Republican President who will not be accused, rightly or wrongly, of ignoring the economy (see above item). From the standpoint of political history, this will be noteworthy. Precedent. Ronald Reagan was an actor before he was President, and his terms saw the fall of Communism on a grand scale across Eastern Europe. Surely, if the next actor-President's term were to be half as productive, no one could call it unsuccessful. I'm serious about this. As soon as Arnold gets a fake birth Wisconsin birth certificate, I'm voting for him. I encourage you to do the same. |