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Phillip Cunio's
Commentary
2-24-2003 A question one often hears asked these days is as follows: Why do we call animals like dogs "friends" and animals like pigs "food?" The answer: Because pigs are delicious. They provide us with tasty food products such as ham and bacon, which can only be made from their tender, juicy flesh. We call pigs "food" because we eat them, and we eat them because they taste good. Why they taste so good is another fair question, and when we can answer that completely, we will begin producing pig-flavoring by the gallon, so that it can be marketed to a pleasantly-surprised pig-devouring public. I myself may well drink the stuff, depending on its cost and the particular essence of flavor (hamhock, smoked strips, hogsfeet, etc.) with which they choose to imbue it. I'm praying for a "Pop's Pig Products Mix" flavor with a little bit of everything. Think about it: if pigs didn't really want to be bloodily slaughtered so that we might feast upon their yummy baked carcass portions, they wouldn't be so very, very delicious. The same goes for cows. Unfortunately, as anybody who believes in God (or perhaps just the pleasure of a good meal) knows, delicious food is made to be eaten. Cows and pigs, as well as chickens, deer, and various other walking, flying, or swimming repositories of repasts-to-be, exist so that we may exist and be merry. Think about it. Their deaths not only sustain us physically, but mentally as well, with the comfort a full stomach brings to the satisfied mind. True, some will say that it is not right to kill, or we are illogical in what we choose to slay and put on top of bread, but deliciousness has its price. I personally woud be quite happy to run through the fields and chase down cows with my fangs. As for why dogs are called friends, instead of the pets or assistants they used to be, I theorize that the rise of television led to a general evening-out of differences in IQ across all areas of zoology. Dogs can now watch "When Animals Attack 15" and learn the best ways to terrorize, rend, nibble on, and otherwise attack humans, and humans can now watch "When Animals Attack 15" and learn that thinking became a chore of the past long ago. But that's a whole different story. |