Phillip Cunio's Commentary: Michael Jackson
8-5-2003 My editor tells me I should write about the gloriousness of Michael Jackson. Yes, the man is a very talented singer, and yes, an insanely talented dancer. He sings songs in ways nobody else can, and he dances in ways nobody else ever will. He had his moment of greatest popularity some years ago, and he used it to help bring the country together. He took part in some of the requisite-for-a-star fundraising drives for good causes. He told us how important children are. I think some of his contributions to society were even overlooked. Think about his skin. If ever a man showed America that the line between black and white is thin, and easily crossed, Michael Jackson was that man. Between the time of his birth and today, he's danced from deep in the one side to way far gone into the other side. So here's to Michael: without you, we wouldn't realize that the only real obstacle to changing the color of one's skin is a few years worth of chemical treatments, and we would feel like we were all separate races, rather than the water-soluble sacks of protein and organic chemicals, containing a few amalgamations of calcium and surrounded by a thin, stretched-out layer of tissue with just a few small variations in chemical coloring from person to person that we are. Thank you, Michael Jackson. And we know he loves kids. In fact, the only reason Michael Jackson isn't as popular as some of the Snod's other distinguished staff wish him to be is simple: Maybe he loves kids a little too much. That's Michael.
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